Archive for opinions

Is BreastFeeding Cheaper?

16 July, 2009 · Filed under BF, opinions

How did i decide to breastfeed?

  1. Its good for baby
  2. Peer pressure (everybody’s doing it)
  3. Cheaper

But is it really cheaper? Things i bought or needed to buy to sustain this:

  1. Electric pump $100 (ok maybe non BF mummies also need a pump to help engorgement but perhaps a manual one would do?)
  2. Breast Pads. I wear Madela washable ones @ $16 for 2 which last me a month?
  3. Disposable Breast Pads. In case of emergency. $8 for 32pcs. Lasts 2 months i hope.
  4. Lansinoh Milk Bag @ $15-18 per 25pcs. which lasts only 6 working days.
  5. Cooler Bag to transport the BM. I think it was about $20.
  6. Nursing tops $50 each. I know this is not necessary but i can’t help it! =D
  7. More diapers as breastmilk is easier to digest resulting more output. lol
  8. More money for food cause i’m always so hungry!!!

I’ve only just unearthed Avent reusable cups from the back of my wardrobe that Z bought a long time ago. (3months actually haha) I supposed that was around $20. There are 10cups and i’ve switched to this one already.

At first i didn’t use them cos its shape wastes a lot of space in the freezer. Now i to store it in chiller for a short time, so there should be more than enough space. BUT! I’ve already bought 3 packets of the plastic milkbags. Heart pain! Ok nevermind i’ll reserve that for emergency purposes say the cups are not washed or all in use… or if i wanna store it in freezer. But 3 x 25pcs will take a SUPER LONG TIME To finish.

(Haha ok as i write this entry i’ve only just noticed i have a lot of “for emergency cases” things. Even my clothes and scarves, stationeries, shoes there are “for emergency” categories. I’m such a sicko!)

Hopefully with the Avent cups i will save a lot more. I dont dare do the maths, but is BF really cheaper after the figures above? Look quite unlikely. Formula milk is only what? $20-30 that can last a whole month. I got a lot of bottles from the gift packs. Ok some may argue that BFed babies are less likely to fall sick = save on doctor’s fee… but surely not that much that often?

But of course, at the end of the day, its the Baby’s health that’s more important and the bonding experience. =)

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First Overnighter w Baby Alone.

15 July, 2009 · Filed under Firsts, friends, opinions, Tufeil

Sunday 12th July 09 (3.5months old)

4 of the 11 bestfriends have now been Mummies for a year and they took the opportunity to get together with all the other mummies and new mummies.

Aranda Country Club is the chalet that you can see from Wild Wild Wet. We got a two bedroom suite and it faces The River!!!!!!!!! I was sooo jumping with joy couldn’t wait for next day to take the rides. Unfortunately, WWW opens at 1pm, check out is at 10am, my appt @ KK at 3pm = No time.

Another thing that dropped my jaw was seeing a Thomas & Friend’s Bouncy House(??) / trampoline for the kids to jump. I LOVE THIS!! At one point, Nul and i went in with our babies… then another adult wanted to step in that’s when disaster struck! The bouncy Float became lopsided, pressed to the ground! And the kids were all deliriously screaming but my small li’l Tufeil was traumatized seeing the walls closing in on him. So after the Bounce stabilised, i quickly handed out my baby to safety. It was sooo comical. Poor Tufeil. Let’s just hope he won’t grow up a claustrophobic.

It’s nice to catch up with some of our seniors. I realised most of them gave birth around the same time as i did! Between March and April 09! So we all exchanged notes and gathered round for group feeding.

‘Azma kept praising that Tufeil is so… good, sit quietly. and i kept telling her that He’s just happy as long as somebody carries him. For example: it was already 9pm when we went bowling till past 11pm. He was being passed around in between my turns but no cry. Alhamdulillah… I just hope he stays a pleasant baby, cause i read that after 3 months, babies start to have preferences favouring some faces more than others.

Hairiah, on the other hand, thought i was confident (is tt the word u used?) bringing the baby out on my own. I dont know why but i grew up feeling guilty if i let other pple do my stuffs for me. Actually i do know why, but its embarassing to say here. haha. So like it or not, heavy or not, diff or not, i persevere.

Also, there were a few instances within the first month of baby’s birth where i was nursing baby and kept asking Z to fetch things, tissue lah, pillow lah, hp lah… until he got fed up and said, “Can’t you take yourself?” Of course at tt point of time i replied, “I can’t move what!” But upon reflection, yeah i should be more independent. Ever since then, even if i forgot to take anything, i will as best as i could, take the things with baby in one arm, the other arm stretching as far as i could in half sitting, half standing position.

As far as possible, I won’t ask the maid to handle my baby also. Like i’ve already written, i would rather wait to pass to my own family. I would also push the stroller myself. It’s something i like to do anyways since young. Simply put: Kesian (pity). Not to mention i don’t trust her. Only one time i caved in cause i was driving and the only other adult was Kak Ly but Syifaa’ was acting up.

But then again, i’m not totally independent since i get the maid to do ALL the other chores for me. I dont hafta make my bed, i dont wash the bottles, let alone the clothes. I dont even iron them. In that sense, u can consider I’m lucky.

In any case, the next day, AFTER checking out, we went to the club’s swimming pool. We had it all to ourselves! We dipped for just under an hour. After tt both ‘Affaan and Tufeil started to get cranky. 1.5months ago Tufeil needed support using Syifaa’s buoy but not anymore. Yay!!

It was a DISASTER trying to change the babies and ourselves. There was no proper place to change baby, but i managed to wash him in the sink (he’s afraid of showers – i can understand it might be painful) then put him on the ceramic tile top covered with our own towel. So scary, afraid he might wriggle and fall!

He was all nice and ready on the counter but i dont know what to do with him. I havent changed and was still wet. Cldn’t leave him to get ready. So i thought, lay him down on the buoy on the floor. I carried him with a towel between us but he still got wet and refused to be put down! So we found ourselves both feeding the babes in the changing room! Thank God there are seats!

And thankfully ‘Affaan the baby has fallen asleep on the same said counter. so we took turns looking after both babies while the other got ready. In the meantime, i had asked my parents to come fetch me.

After the whole fiasco and having to change Tufeil back to yesterday’s clothes (POOR BABY!), I cld barely carry 1 big baby bag full of wet clothes on my right shoulder, 1 big bag full of goodies from the party in my left hand, 1 inflated buoy (‘Azma helped) and 1 baby in carrier in front. Ayah came to the lobby and i dumped everything into the stroller he brought.

Phew!

Comments (2) »

What to Eat?

2 December, 2008 · Filed under Food, ME, opinions, ramblings

Short post cos im very busy at work.

The past few weeks i’ve been wondering what to eat at home. That is to mean snacks or light meals. I have ice cream, chocolates, cakes and what nots… but i want something savoury.

I started to vow that when i have my own house, i will stock with plenty of food. Savoury and Sweet. and prolly sour. LOL. But But But…

Here comes the question: What?!?!?!

Every single food item i think of is either processed or junk.

  1. Sausage
  2. Instant noodles
  3. potato chips
  4. Chicken Ham

bla bla bla…

What shall i stock my fridge with that’s easy and fast to cook yet not so unhealthy? But hopefully doesnt require any microwaving (i believe its carcinogenic) nor frying (lazy to bring down the hanging laundry).

Hmmm

Comments (6) »

Am i Really Thick Skinned?

20 November, 2008 · Filed under ME, opinions

I have always considered myself to be a shy person.

I’m not really a candidate to greet strangers warmly nor make easy friends at courses and the like… I dont chat freely with bosses… Say Hi to unknown neighbours etc…

However, i DO realise that after i started work some 7 yrs ago.. i began being a bit more outspoken. For eg: i’d be the one to place the food order for the family, calling customer service to ask status on whatever, etc…

The one day i was chatting with a group of ex colleague about going to the gym or dance classes when i got a shock. One of them said, “Yeah you thick skinned what…”

I asked why she thought so. She said bcos i dared to ask pple to give up seats in the public transport for me.

Hmmm come to think of it… Yeah i suppose that’s a rather bold thing to do. I ask a couple of other experienced mother most said that they’d rather die standing than die from the embarassment of asking for a seat. So noble of them. Me im just so spoilt! It’s all about ME ME ME and ME.

I Like dancing so i do it. I want slimming pills, so i shamelessly ask doctor to prescribe me. I want 2 Days MC, so i simply request it from the doc.

But you won’t catch me telling my boss he has chilli on his teeth or asking for pay rise nor telling off a colleague for using me or whatever.

Conclusion: I’m MODERATELY thick skinned. depending on the situation. haha

Comments (6) »

Men Are Such Slobs!

13 November, 2008 · Filed under married life, opinions, S'pore

For the first 24yrs of my life, i lived with 3 other women in the house and a very neat man, my father.

I was accused of living like a boy when i put my dirty laundry at one corner of the floor in my room. It’s just sometimes other pple are in the bathroom so i had to wait till later to dump them in the laundry basket ok.

But i was in for a rude shock when i got married and afterwards.

It seems that Paki guys or perhaps guys in general more often than not will leave their plates / cups / glasses on the table after eating. I said Paki guys bcos it was very apparent when i was in Pak that they let the women do ALL the chores. So i can’t really blame Zubair for leaving his dirty dishes bcos he was brought up that way. However, we are living in Singapore and the culture is diff. So i told him that the least i expect him to do is put them in the sink so they wont dry up and make hell of washing later.

Also, when he took to eating in the room, i clearly say that I HATE ANTS and leaving plates in the room will attract them!! So he put them on the floor and surprisingly no ants ever came to his plates or glasses. But just to prove my point, i WON”T take the plates away FOR him. I will leave it till he picked them up himself. I know.. i’m so mean. or maybe lazy. LOL

Then i found out that Zubair is not alone in this “habit”.

I was surprised when i read in one of Marian Keyes’ (Irish) books, “(he) putting back the empty milk carton in the fridge.” A check with a friend to see if her husband does that too generated this response in my mind, Oh! It’s a worldwide problem with guys, I see.

It baffles me how it could escape these guys’ minds that leaving AN EMPTY MILK CARTON in the fridge is sheer… sheer…. i dont even have the word for it! haha

Even the French seems to have this habit.

My colleague has the decency to bring his dirty cups from his desk to the dry pantry. But it’s the most irritating thing in the world ok trying to scrub the coffee stains off the porcelain cups! What irked me was, Although i serve tea & coffee to guests and clear up after them, it is not within my job scope to wash my colleague’s glasses – i’m no cleaning lady! Damn! Even my very MALE boss washes his own cup ok.

After months and months of trying to think of how to tell it to this guy… i finally included a line in a btw manner in an email. “Also, if possible, don’t let used coffee cups dry overnight and/or over the weekend. At the very least, soak them at the sink, ok? =) “

And then All is well.

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I Left People Wondering… I Right Their Wonders

15 October, 2008 · Filed under baby, family, married life, ME, opinions

Nadia from Walking Through (The Purple Journal) wrote:

Jussaemon has been squeezing out some great-tasting Original Juice about her
life as a Singaporean married to a Pakistani man, Zubair. Now that she’s
going to become a mother soon, InshaAllah, I wonder about her plans on how to
bring up their child. Will she still work full-time? Which of the
two cultures will she want the child to be more adapted to?

I had to defer this post for a few days because i was feeling very depressed from the weekend.

In reply to Abid’s comment, there are a lot of downs actually but ive stopped journaling them.

But in any case, i’m high today cos we made up and im wearing my first ever maternity top and it looks nice, so i’m in the mood to write this Tag post.

The easiest Question first: Will She still Work Full-time?

Nadia honey. In Singapore, mostly both husband and wife hafta go out to work to sustain their lifestyle. (Unless the husband bring in like USD4,000/mth or something then its safe to be a full on Stay at Home Mum aka SAHM). Since most part time jobs dont really work out (in my point of view at least), women generally work full time. So yes i intend to work full time.

However, with our flexible 4 months maternity leave, we can opt to slowly come back to work by working half days first using up those leaves. That is something i will certainly look into to give me a smooth transition into full time working again, ease the separation anxiety with the baby and all.

Which of the two cultures will she want the child to be more adapted to?

Because as a child, i always dreamed of becoming an Indian or a Pakistani and watching HIndi movies without having to read the subtitles and miss out ogling at Aamir or Salman Khan, i will send ALL my children to Urdu school to pick up the language.. and understand the culture.

While i am open to religious sects and thoughts, I would prefer that my children adhere to the Sunni, Imam Shafiee’s school of thought as that is the norm practised here. I dont want my children to feel awkward and out of place. BUT, they should also be open minded and learn both to take the good of the two.

Because we would mostly reside in Singapore, I would prefer that my children be more at home with the Malay cultures, ie the certain ways that Malay respect their elders, how we celebrate Eid, the way we cover our heads ie certainly no dupattas but proper hijabs..

This might prove a bit diff when u know the answer to the next Qns:

Her plans on how to bring up their child

As i have prolly mentioned before, we intend to have my MIL stay with us when we’ve got our own place. So with the 2:1 Paki to Malay ratio in the house, might be a bit difficult to instill more Malay culture for my children? Esp when i too will need to speak in Urdu to my MIL hehe… But i suppose school influence will balance that up.

Zubair and I had a discussion a long time back that went something like this.

Z: I dont want our children go to madrasah (islamic school)
Me: What’s wrong with madrasah? I’m a madrasah graduate
Z: Oh Yah you are. no no no.. i dont want my children to be like you… so uptight about religion.
Me: Then what? GOvt school?
Z: Yeah
Me: Ok let’s compromise. Boys will go to Govt school and Girls will go to madrasah.
Z: Oh yes that’s a good compromise. But i want the boys to go to Imam Bargah for Sunday school.
Me: Hmmmmm ok… but YOU send them
Z: Why? Why can’t YOU send them? I want you to know about my sect also.
Me: Because i want you to reacquaint yourself with it :P

In disciplining them, at first Z said he die die (Singlish for being adamant) wont let me lift a finger on our children. But i think i got him to see the light of day. If we dont spank them, they will get naughty and disrespectful. But of cos we need to reason with them also.

So that’s all i can think of right now.

I am not tagging anybody for this. But pple who chance upon this entry, is welcomed to imagine i Tagged them. hehehe Dont forget to leave me comments if u’ve done the tag.

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Two Things I’ve Learnt Last Week

10 October, 2008 · Filed under baby, celebration, opinions

From Nisa:

Calling somebody in advance that you would come later in the evening or the next day might cause problem to the host.

In my younger days, I used to get flustered during Hari Raya if we dont plan whose house we’re visiting next or for the whole day. To me, i thought one would lack organisational skill when we call the house owner for the next house or 2 only to find out that they’re not in or whatever. I mean it’s such a waste right like we are already there but bcos they’re not in we have to come by on another day or whatever.

However, i just realised that we’re locking and blocking the host from any other appointment in anticipation of our arrival. Maybe we might even cause them trouble as they sure would think, “What should i serve them? But our money is tight…” etc etc…

Worse is when, you ran out of time, or you had to rush to another house and couldn’t make it to that person’s house after all as what happened to Nisa. Not only have you wasted the host’s otherwise free evening, also you might have caused her to waste time, money preparing food you’re not gonna eat!

So this is a social skill one should also have.

Question is: How to strike a balance of being organisational as well as socially responsible?

Maybe a tentative question of host’s availability is kinda moderate. Eg: Will you be at home this Fri evening? It’s ok if you’re not free. See? Not really committing that you’d come… But would the host go all the way to assume you’re coming and cook whatever? *shrug*

I’ve never been a host before so i wldn’t know what a host would think or do. But if it were up to me, i bet you im gonna be selfish and leave it up to me.

Most of the time the infrequent guests call, you would find me holed up in my room! Mostly they are my parents’ friends or a very distant relative that i dont even remember their name. Esp if they come weekend morning, too bad, im still sleeping :P

But is it my imagination or is it for real that this is the trend going nowadays? That the young would just stay in the room? It sure is how it feels like from what i see.

““““““““““““““

From Sue:

A child’s education starts as early as a few weeks old.

What a coincidence that just the night before i was trying to convince Z that it’s ok if someone undesirable takes care of our baby for the 1st year (like how can it possibly affect the baby’s characteristics, right?) when Sue told me otherwise.

She said something to the effect that after being hospitalised quite a no of days, her then 1mth old baby is now very pampered. Will only sleep after being rocked etc.

Sleeping pattern IS definitely IMPORTANT in defining a child’s trait, i feel. If there’s no routine, the baby will take its time sleeping and the desperate parents (read: me & Z) would be obliged to carry and rock him to sleep which would translate to a pampered baby?

I sooo dont want my baby to be as pampered as me. hehehe … They must be Independent. Sleep on its own, study on its own, work on its own.

Perhaps its easy for me to just say it now… God knows how it will turn out when i finally deliver this baby and smell it, kiss it, carry it. Awwwwwww *GERAM already!!*

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Terminating @ Yishun

10 September, 2008 · Filed under ME, opinions, S'pore

From EW15 – NS9, i need to alight and exchange train at EW14/NS26.
But like many others, i cheat a bit by going to NS27 after alighting at NS26, as the train will reverse direction and go in north direction to my destination. Bcos NS27 is the end of the line = LOTS OF EMPTY SEATS!
Good for Tired Pregnant Me who needs and gets to nap for 45min before reaching home. I even have a strategy to grab a certain corner seat so that my sleeping head won’t sway too much or has support …

… but stil my head will flex down leaving me with a neck ache everytime. But its ok as long as i get that nap. hahaha
I also have another theory. See… Some trains that depart from NS27 Marina Bay will terminate at Yishun NS13. So you need to get out of the train, look at the panel see which station it leads to Yishun or Jurong East. But i dont wanna risk losing my favourite seat just to look at that panel. What i do is people watch.
If i see a handful of other pple peer out then come back in, it means they’re heading further than Yishun. This is because theoretically speaking, Yishun bound pple can take Trains going towards Yishun AND Jurong East. If they can take both, they dont need to know where the train is heading correct? Yeah i have been successful many a time using this formula.
Then two days ago i witnessed something puzzling. There were a couple of pple who peered out and didnt come back in but the person seating next to me did. But still i couldnt muster the energy to go out and look myself, so instead i asked her, “It’s going to Jurong, right?” Her answer? “No, Yishun.” So i came out and waited for the next train.
Now yesterday i was sleeping peacefully only to be jolted awake by the announcement That this train is terminating at Yishun. What the! But i tot! Er… what happened? “What a waste of good seat!!!”, i cried in my heart. Now i had to stand for another 10min to reach my destination and don;t know why i really had no energy and my leg felt wobbly that evening. But i made it lah.
Unsatisfied, i analysed what happened. At marina Bay yesterday, I remember there was an ah pek (chinese uncle) who stood all the way from Raffles to Marina, peered out then back in again. But there were also a couple who left the train. Because of the position i was sitting in the last car, i couldn’t see the other cars if pple are leaving also… So my theory for the first time failed me yesterday.
Thinking back… i think the times that these Yishun bound pple came back into the train were when there was another train waiting in the next platform (Remember we are at the last station and both trains will head back in the same direction). That is to see if they can catch an earlier train, but since its going to Jurong anyways, they decided to stick to their favourite seat and not switch over.
So now the revised theory goes like this: Follow initial theory. If there are two trains at the station, ask your nearest neighbour.

LOL!

Comments (4) »

Infant VS Toddler

28 August, 2008 · Filed under baby, opinions

Me: I dont know how to appreciate Infants …. yet. Give me a toddler any time and i will gladly play with him.

Friend: Oh its the reverse for me! I LOVE infants.

Me: Oh is it because toddlers are just so naughty

Friend: Yup yup. The Terrible 2s and 3s.

Me: I’ve heard of Terrible Twos but not 3s

Friend: Oh that i made it up myself cos they seem to be terrible still at the age of 3! LOL

Me: For me… I feel so scared to carry infants cos they are so fragile and dont know how to play with babies who dont know how to talk yet.

What do YOU think? Do you prefer to play with Infants or Toddlers? Vote for your choice in the poll on the right hand corner~

Comments (6) »

Raising Helen

15 August, 2008 · Filed under baby, family, opinions

When i read Miss Sue’s Entry about not sparing the rod, i couldn’t agree more.

As a child, i had wished that my parents were more stricter on me to mould me to a more god-fearing person. Although, of course, it could backfire but perhaps that’s another story for another time.

I DO believe in rotan-ning / caning my children for bad behaviour. And afterwards, explain to them why what they did (and not they themselves) are bad and/or wrong.

Zubair, on the other hand, ever told me a couple of times, “You are not to lift a hand on our children.” Or something to that effect. Prolly because of the harsh upbringing and constant punishing (not by Ammi) he and his brothers faced through out their childhood.

However, the golden question is: DO I HAVE THE HEART TO HIT THEM?

As it is, i have always been gentle to all my young students and of course my darling niece, Syifaa’.

Never even raised my voice on the girls. I was always their friendly and cool (haha) older sister, laughing and joking with them, tickling them when they’re not revising. But i felt, it was so much so that they somehow took me for granted. “Ah its ok… Sis Julissa is nice. She wont scold us if we jump on the couch, if we go answer the phone, if we talk amongst ourselves, if we stare on the wall dreaming…”

As for Syifaa’…. If she wants highlighter, i give her… if she wants that salty crackers, i let her. If she cries, i let her be. If she screams for her Aa Ba Aa (Learn Arabic DVD), we all hafta put it on for her (which is good lah)… But we give in to her ALL the time, im so afraid it might spoil her like it had spoilt me (probably).

On the other hand, i can’t imagine EVER ever EVER hitting them EVER.

Maybe the trick that my sis did is good. She brought Syifaa’ into the room and gave her a viewing of the ROTAN (cane/stick/feather duster) by hitting on the bed, on the floor, on the wardrobe and everywhere else except on her body itself.

So now everytime we say, “See the rotan? U want the rotan?”, she would immediately stop wailing or throwing tantrum and submit to the task at hand, be it to go for shower, stop eating chocolate, dont climb the chair, screaming for no reason etc etc….

Neat trick huh.

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