Archive for Islam

Fasting with a Baby

3 September, 2009 · Filed under baby, BF, Islam, motherhood

It’s been almost two weeks since Ramadhan came. and I’ve missed 3 days.
Well.. at least i’ve found the rhythm/routine.

Baby will usually sleep at 10pm. Thru the night, he will wake up about twice say around 1 and 4am. at 5am when i hafta wake up for Sahur/Sehri, i will gently turn him to his tummy praying he won’t wake up. Mostly he won’t.

Sahur menu at my house is either last night’s break fast leftovers or rice. Mostly i can’t stomach rice still being groggy and all but i just stuff myself. Most importantly is to drink 1ltr of water, otherwise, i can’t survive the day!

Pray at 5:45am. While waiting for baby to wake up for morning feed, i will play Lexulous while watching Smallville. (Now at Season 7 Episode 14) or sometimes i nap but if possible i dont because i will feel FAT when i wake up! Besides, in an hour i hafta get ready already.

Sidetrack : You know, every Ramadhan I will put on weight instead of lose them! Because always sleep with FULL TUMMY! End of side track.

It was nice to receive a pat on the back by a fellow new mother at work. She said, “Wah you’re fasting and you’re still pumping. Way to go!” Thanks. I felt appreciated for my effort.

I’m not sure whether expressing BM is tiring or relaxing. In one way, i get a break before i start work and i get to read my book. In another, its like drinking my energy away.

My mum would give 4 bottles to Tufeil thru out the day. If his last feed is 5pm, then it is very ideal for me.

You see, i finish work at 5:15pm dash home and reach at 6:15. Once i step home, i will make bee line to my room to pump for about 15min. Then i take a quick shower n get dressed in 15min. from 6:45pm to break fast time i will nurse the baby to, hopefully, sleep. So that i can eat in peace! teehee.

But if his last feed is 6pm, there will be a problem. I can’t nurse him to sleep. Or if he wakes up in the middle of break fast, then i hafta hold him in left hand, and fingers my food with the right.

Standing Tall. bwaahahahah

Standing Tall. bwaahahahah

So that’s why my dad assembled the rocker cum walker we got as present from the company. He turned to the walker MINUS the wheels. Reason: Afraid Syifaa’ might topple it over and both fall down.
Close up now

Close up now

 

From what i heard/read/know, a walker hinders the baby’s own instinct to walk on their own. So this is for emergencies only, when we’re really desperate.

But in any case, without the wheels, it will serve like a mini … what-you-call-it… gym station? game station? Something like that. *trying to minimise guilt here*

After Maghrib prayer, i will top and tail him and change into pyjamas. that would be around 8:30pm. Then the adults in the house will play with him till about 9pm when he would want his next feed.

Between 9 – 10pm a bit more of quiet play (er… sometimes not so quiet) and a mandatory change of diaper. After that, i will turn down the light and nurse him to bed.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzz Zapped of all energy, i can’t do much anything else. At most i will watch Smallville to sleep. I feel guilty for not doing extra in this holy month of Ramadhan. Lord forgive me. Give me strength. Ameen.

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Empty

21 August, 2009 · Filed under Islam, ME, ramblings

Speaking of Spirituality…. I feel lost.

I envy those who are seriously down to earth, and remorseful for their tiny tiny sins, who are sincerely grateful to Allah for their blessings. I’m amazed by those who are convinced the “bad” is good for you.

I havent been a good muslim of late. Yes i pray 5x a day. Yes i cover my head. But how’s the quality of my prayers? I complete a 4 rakaah prayer in under 5min. with no proper, sincere doa afterwards.

Then how are the clothings i put on? I’ve been buying “modern” clothes recently.

When my son is sick, I pray to Allah to heal him. Did i thank Him when he got better?

Mostly I’m just lazy and uninspired! Many a times i plan to read the Qur’an… and then other things come up and i dismissed my intentions with those excuses like… Tufeil’s asleep already… bla bla bla…

Is my heart too black now that i just fail to appreciate and glorify the Creator?

I dont want to have something terribly bad happen to make me realize. I don’t want it to be too late. For the lord knows i do believe in the Hereafter. But how do i change my attitude in practising religion?

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Hari Raya is Coming!?!?

11 August, 2009 · Filed under celebration, Islam, pictures

Ok this year, finding the right outfit for our Eid celebration will be a real challenge yet!

For one, It’s diff to shop around with a baby in tow. Make that TWO babies to incld Syifaa’.

For another, I need a comfortable one for BF-ing! ie not as long as the knee length baju Kurung. Also need buttons in front but not all the way. Material also should be cooling and one that won’t irritate baby like sequins and stuff.
We went to Joo Chiat yesterday. I had to resort to feeding the babe in a FITTING ROOM!
Shhh baby.. don’t let them know we’re in here!
Well.. at least my sis did buy something from this particular shop. so i dont feel too guilty.
The new Geylang Serai Market.
I’m prolly the last person in spore who hasn’t been here. and still haven’t cos we just passed by to catch a cab!

And for that, i am not too looking forward for that festival. The Hassle! Yikes! My Best friends would say it was more diff for them last yr when their babies were only 2months old thereabouts .

On the other hand, when i visited a friend with her newborn yesterday, she asked her baby, “Emel, Are you ready to go visiting? to go “Collection”?” Ah! ok! I suppose that’s something to look forward to, although not the MAIN reason *wink*.

But FIRST! Need to start repaying the fast! i missed like… 6 days last yr when i was pregnant. Today, i dont even know if i can survive a single day of fast since going without breakfast would make my body very weak by lunch time!! And the thought of waking up BEFORE Dawn when the baby already keeps me awake most of the night!? How do other mothers do it?!

Ya Allah, please give me strength and Iman to complete this pillar of Islam.

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4th Day of Fasting

4 September, 2008 · Filed under Food, Islam, ME, ramblings

Alhamdulillah, i have completed 3 days of Fast. But i hafta tell you it’s not easy.

Every minute, im thinking about food. And then i summon imaginary stomach cramp to qualify for break fast. LOL

Oklah maybe im not so much hungry as im thirsty!! It’s worst when my nose is blocked and i lose moisture when i hafta breathe thru my mouth. Yucks.

The most trying part is the lethargy. For the past 2 days, i’ve been taking 1hr nap during lunch, so i feel a bit energised when i wake up and forgot about the hunger pang that occurs from 10am. LOL When Asr comes, i would be jumping for joy already cos its almost knock off time = near reaching home time = near breaking fast time!! haha I’ve been counting down the hour with my sister online each time.

In the house, it is considered unlawful to not fast even when you have the perfect excuse not to ie pregnant. Of course lah its better to do it and gain the thawab also so i wont hafta repay so much later on but in islam, there are also …. i cant remember whats the Arabic term right now, but something to mean laws to ease the burden of Muslims. It’s there to make our life simpler and not begrudge the practitioners into retaliation = sins. Besides, La Ikraha Fid Deen.

Sighh… In any case im trying my best lah. See until when i can cope.

I salute pple who look forward to Ramadhan and declare as much. Because for me, a person who LOVES food and sleep, its tough, esp the waking up at 5am part. Even then, i just wake up to eat, dont even hafta cook. Can’t imagine how it is when i hafta do my own cooking. CRY CRY

But of course we look forward to the multiplying of virtues for every lil bit of good deeds u do. I also look forward to the $ saved from not having lunch. Altho i tend to spend almost $10 at the bazaar!!! Cannot go often!

Hahah my points are all over the place.

Oh yeah another thing is, every Ramadhan, i make it a point to clean my wardrobe for the impending Eid. Which doesnt make sense if i tire easily in this month, right? But it must be done! YEah! *psyching myself*

Can’t wait for the weekend to go to Geylang! Food! Oh Glorious Food!

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The Thing About Death

5 August, 2008 · Filed under family, Islam, ramblings

Everytime i give Zubair the What-if-u-die-tmrw speech when im reminding him for prayers and what nots, he would, most of the time say:

If Ammi hears what you said, she will really scold you

It’s tragic that the boys lost their father at such a tender age. So the mention of DEATH is really taboo in their house now. Which is also tragic.

Wasn’t it supposed to work the other way around? Precisely because you’ve experienced death of a loved one so young that make you realise how precious and fragile life is? So much so that we shouldn’t waste it playing around too much?

Alhamdulillah all my family are still alive and i was blessed not to have suffered such a trauma. The only death i’ve known is of my paternal grandparents who were very old and sick and whom we werent particularly close with. So unfortunately, i dont know the meaning of loss yet. To be drawn to piety by death.

This entry came about after reading Frust Korner’s, She quoted a Harun Yahya’s book called Death Resurrection Hell

“The majority of people avoid thinking about death. It never occurs to them that this absolute end will befall them one day. They harbour the superstitious belief that if they avoid the thought of it, that will make them immune from death.”

Shamefully, i hafta admit that im in that so called majority.

I totally Echo what she said that everytime we managed to inch nearer, we withdraw 2 inches back somehow…….

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Praying at the staircase

9 July, 2008 · Filed under Islam, ME, work

I dont normally like to write nor show that im doing some kind of ibadah, be it the 5 daily prayers or reading Qur’an etc…
That’s why i have put off writing about this for 2yrs… But i think i can’t take it anymore.. i need to express it!
For the first month of so of starting work at this current company, I had my lunch at the nearby mosque 5 mins walk away, prayed and napped there.
I brought and lost 2 of my mother’s foldable straw prayer/lounging mat. Which i used to pray at the dusty staircase. But its been lost for quite sometime….
Until one day, my time coincided with a lady cleaner praying just above me! My was i delighted! She used a few pieces of table spread – the PVC kind. I was soo happy to have found a… praying partner that i asked if i could have just ONE of her pieces of mat. its not enough to cover me so i hafta stand barefooted but forehead to the mat. BUT I WAS SO THRILLED! It means i have a more convenient place to pray…. peacefully… cos nobody ever pass thru.
Occasionally a security guard would walk down the stairs.. but most of the time, THEY are the one who apologised. Of course i cldnt be the one to say sorry in the first place since i was in the middle of prayer. But in any case, most of them are Malay / Muslims, so they understood.
about 3 months ago, toilets were being renovated on the 2 floors below and above me. so they had to come to our floor to use the toilet. Sometimes they use stairwell A, sometimes they pass thru the one that i used for prayer. But it was infrequent enough for me to care that much. Im NOT gonna give up my place. Besides, it was temporary measure only.
HOWEVER.. Now.. the 8th floor company has also occupied the 10th Floor office space and now hordes of them use the staircase to go up and down between their offices. Again, most of the time, THEY said Sorry. But i couldnt help thinking if they got scared looking at my various praying position

I suppose it helps than i dont wear the ghostly white traditional gear called the Telekung:

I cant help feeling guilty and misusing the staircase.

Im afraid if one of them would complain sooner or later and we all would be banned from praying there.

I entertained a fantasy that the guards would offer an alternative, more proper place to pray.. but FAT CHANCE!

I dont know.. But somehow i felt my spirits a bit elated when i read Laila’s Thoughts & Tips about how she prayed at her sch’s Computer Lab

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Everybody’s Asking About You

4 January, 2008 · Filed under family, friends, Islam, Pakistan, Xubi

Ever since the high profile assasination, everybody’s been asking after Zubair.

Of course, the first one is Huda who smsed me how thankful she is that i wasnt there.

Then, of course, there were my parents who indirectly showed worries by checking the news every so often.

Yesterday, my “long lost” brother msned like this, “Caca! How are you?” And i said are you refering to the Be.na.zir’s passing? and he was rather concerned about how he’s doing down there and all. But at the end, concluded that we are too overly concerned bcos these kindsa things rarely happen in our country whereas they are immuned to it~

This morning, while i was returning my neighbour’s dvd collection, Cik Mi.Mah asked how’s Zubair? with a face of pure concern. I was truly touched. =)

But yeah it was just hectic that first 24 – 48hrs. Everybody was to stay indoors. Afterwards, concerts were back up and running!

Oh! But i just read in today’s Today that that were some clashes between Sunni and Shia in Peshawar. 900 Sunni families fled to Kabul, Afghanistan. *shrug* I just dont understand why we cant agree to disagree, live peacefully and let everybody be? (Hey it rhymes!)

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Things I wanna do in 2008:-

2 January, 2008 · Filed under baby, Islam, ME, school, Urdu, work

  1. Fly to Pakistan
  2. Master cooking skills
  3. Master baby skills
  4. Continue my studies
  5. Perform Haj in what to be the last yr it will fall in Dec! Until the next 30yrs or so that is.
  6. Have a baby
  7. Fluent in Urdu. or at least manageable lah right.
  8. Read more inspirational books
  9. Go for more courses under company

My Studies.

As i get very encouraging comments about my Acturial pursuit, i tot, what the hell?, just cont my studies. I have paid it already. Even if i dont continue, i still hafta pay (unless i go thru the taxing legal procedure ergh). Hopefully, if Zubair’s got that Bike license already, he can ferry me to n fro. i WILL do it. i WILL get that degree!!

Haj.

My parents are going. The musafir (traveller) rate is SGD6,500 per person. Frankly, i dont know how i will ever make it there. But i leave it to Allah to arrange it for me. Its not just the money… but what if i’d be heavily pregnant by then? Am i fit enough to do all those? My exams would be around that period.

As a young girl, i’ve always tot its scary to go there bcos of the frequent stampedes in the crowd. I’ve always imagined that i’d do Umrah first to get the feel of things before going for Haj.

I changed my mind after reading Ahmad Thompson’s The Difficult Journey. I realised that you will only appreciate it if u faced difficulties trying to get something. Besides, the author also described how he felt overwhelmed by the Greatness and Beauty of Islam, of Allah when he saw the amount of pple gathering at one place in the name of the lord! to praise him. Doing Umrah first when its not packed, would somehow decrease the nikmat of seeing the Kaabah, the house of Allah, for the first time.

Why i NEED to do it this yr is because i would wanna go to Saudi in winter… when the weather is tolerable. I dont think i can bear to wait 30 odd years for Haj season to reach winter time again. Im afraid the feeling would be lost!

Urdu

Should i attend some courses? Buy some more CDs? Online learning? I hope to buy a pictionary or something when i visit there to help build my vocab. And need to practise constructing sentences!

The best of luck to all in achieving their targets for this yr. May it all be smooth sailing.

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Rules and Restrictions

2 October, 2007 · Filed under Islam, opinions

Ever since i started to tutor my cousins for Arabic, Islamic studies and whatever they learn in “Sunday School”, im faced with some sticky situations, when i don;t know what to tell them.

1. Fatihah when Masbuq

Their book says that if a follower follows the Imam in prayer from the start, he/she has to finish his/her Fatihah in each rakaat, but that if he joins in mid prayer, it is OK to not be able to finish the Fatihah.

However, I share the same opinion as Ustaz Abdurrahman. He said that an Imam is the Leader. He LEADS the prayer and he complements or completes our Fatihah or any other dua throughout the Solat. Besides, Allah will listen to what the Leader says and will accept the dua as a Whole with all the followers.

Just like in a basket of durian, 1 is taken out for sample. Of course the seller will pick the BEST one. and with that, the buyer will buy the WHOLE LOT if he’s happy with the sample. hai na?

2. NIYYAH or intention

In every chapter of their book of solah, there will be a niyah accompanying it.

Children were trained from decades ago that they hafta memorise and READ these specific Niyahs in ARABIC, no less.

Niyah is about what is in the heart. For eg: you go to the toilet, you open the tap, in your mind you said i wanna take ablution. that’s the niyah already. or when you wake up for sahri/sahur, that’s niyah for your fast already.

I appreciate that these arabic phrases were GUIDES as to how a niyah could be. But i feel that it should be stressed that it certainly doesnt hafta be in ARABIC bcos Allah The All-KNower understand ALL Language and Knows whatever is in your heart.

There are also certain preachers who stressed that for solat/prayer, the niyah should be read in between the Takbiratul Ihram.

In the rukun/pillars of Solah, Niyah is always first, and u hafta follow the sequence of the pillars!!

3. Dying Hair

I’ve never thought anything about Dying hair in different colours. It’s just like painting henna on ur hands and nails or putting on make up. I dont know why Zubair is so against it and why my cousins asked me that question. Am i missing something here?

But then agian, i totally DON”T GET the Halal logo stamped on boxes of hair colours. Halal to me, is for CONSUMPTION (read: food/drink) not application. Let’s say there’s alcohol it in, it doesn’t make us drunk, does it?

Same goes to perfumes. Even if there’s alcohol, you’re not actually drinking it. Having said that, i’m NOT in favour of wearing perfumes myself but not because of the alcohol status. But because the smell attracts people esp the opposite gender. My tkae: You can only wear it at home for your husband. However, body lotion, deodorant are OK as they eliminate/prevent/conceal odor while not being too strong smelling.

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A Night of a Million Deeds

12 September, 2007 · Filed under dates, Islam

Ok first of all im gonna say that my hp has gone bonkers. i cldnt take pictures!!! it says it’s saving and saved but when i wanna check back says “No more files” It’s NOT the memory card problem cause i changed memory card and the problem persists.

Yesterday at 3pm, i got a call from my friend/sister/junior, HUDA. She said she has two tickets to a dinner at Royal Plaza on Scotts that very night but she cldnt make it and wanted to give it away then she thought of me and hubby! It was actually from her aunties who cldnt make it.

So A Night of a Million Deeds is a night to appreciate the SGD1k and above donors of Kampung Siglap Mosque (hereafter known as MKS). And also to sort of inform the donors what they’re gonna use the money for. haha.

Thank God i was dressed quite decently (read: office wear) and not some t-shirt kinda wear. But still i felt out of place sey cause the rest were SUPER dressy. Also, actually i was going to my sister’s school Lantern Festival celebration but i cancelled out on her so to speak.

The Programme started with cocktails at 6:30pm… i didnt see any cocktail going on so we went and loitered downstairs. We hung out at Mc… then i told Zubair, “I dont think the dinner would start before 8pm, we shld better eat something first” and we bought (do u even need to guess?) large fries!

One of the questions i asked Huda was, “Will it be in English?” She said, “The itinerary in the invitation are all in English.. guess should be English lor…” But Nope it wasn’t.. the speeches were all in Malay.. perfect Malay i should add… but the slides are all in English. *shrug* And our friend, Zubair, was bored to death not to mention sustaining his hunger cos i ended up finishing the fries! hahahah

First speech was from Mr Khair Mohd Noh. I tot that he’s a fabulous speaker. Not too funny not too serious. Didnt stump a lot and has a rich malay vocabulary and think really fast on his feet.

Then it was Ustaz Firdaus Yahya’s turn to give a presentation about Darul Qur’an and their future plans. Basically MKS is the second org in Singapore to start this Tahfiz (memorisation of the Qur’an) program foundation. And they were chosen by MUIS (the Singapore Muslim body) to expand the prog.

Reminiscing, I was the pioneer badge back in 1999! Sadly, i quit in mid 2001 – After 9 juz. i cldnt cope with working life and i had just moved to Woodlands and the commute is terrible! To think that i came out first in the exam amongst 6 other female students.. and that my dad offered to chaffeur me… sighh… i was a lost cause back then. I didnt know what was the priority. I didnt even hafta pay any fees cause i was offered scholarship and i cld have continued in a Tahfiz sch in KL. I was naive. Damn i was naive!

Anyway, it is my wish that if and WHEN i become a housewife, i will pick this up again.

I teared when they showed a video presentation Bcos i realised how much i missed MKS and what a BIG mistake i made. and and and and……… (endless…)

Before the dinner actually starts… (and it was 9pm already).. there was still some award presentation for donors of 5k and above. there were 7 recipients. and there were a total of 13 tables of 10pax….. Do the math!

NOW.. Dinner items from the famous Royal Plaza kitchen (maybe):

  1. Fried Rice
  2. Moroccan Lamb
  3. Braised Beef
  4. Fried Baby chicken with rosemary and lemon
  5. Broccoli (a total miss)
  6. Some fancy named fish called Amellius or something to that effect. (Too many meat already)
  7. Soup was cream of asparagus with something. (Took but just a few sips)

I took both lamb and beef. I’m sorry, Zubair, i really can’t eat lamb.. its … DRY lah.. beef tastes better DEFINITELY.

Then there were the usual salad.. mango.. prawn.. salmon… but the dessert… well there were a lot of weird stuffs.. and me not being a choc fan just took the Apply & banana strudel.

Most interestingly and i salute them for doing this: the host said the muslimah go take their food from the buffet table first.. then the muslimin to follow. And We were entertained by a LIVE Qasidah while eating dinner.

Zubair was laughing at me when i was the only one left eating.. enjoying my second helping of the prawn salad (which i took half for him but he was full) while everybody else were paying attention to Ustaz/Dato Haron/Hassan Din giving a speech about Ramadhan.

The closing event was GREAT! in the itinerary it said, “Auctioning of art pieces.” i thought God we can leave by the time. But its not any ordinary art pieces… its Arabic words in Arabic calligraphy and the artist did it on the spot! after less than 5min of squiggling on paper, the product was shown to the floor and we all gasped! it is soooooooooooo nice! i caught it on camera but like i said my camera is having a downtime right now.

Auction starts at 250. The first piece – La ilaha illallah went at $300! Second piece – Basmalah sold at $450!! Masya’Allah all these people so generous!!!

I left the place beaming, feeling fuzzy and warm from their good deeds.

and We reached home 11.15pm!

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